If I were you..

If I were you, what would I say?

I'd be furious and enraged yet, hold my sway.

I'd try my best to make it work,

I'd stand my ground for all its worth.

I try so hard to control my pain,

Try to hide the betrayal and heartache in vain.

I scroll through my thoughts and through my memories too,

Go over every lie that you probably told me.

I'd question the man I thought I knew,

And find out he's only a boy through and through.

I'd wonder why I chose to stray,

I'd ask him why he still didn't walk away.

I'll try pull it together for you and me,

Cos' i know you're my jaan, and will forever be.

If I were were you, I'd probably stay,

Because these lies are my life and it's just that way.

Thoughts from under a blanket

It’ll pass.” She consoled me. Maybe I’ll live a lifetime of suffocation before that.
What wonders me is the easiness of everything from her part. How she’d hammered the thought so hard into her that an alternative isn’t ever possible.

So, it’s been 7 months. The fifth was okayier than the third, now into the seventh, the bipolarity of the human condition has returned, like a dear friend soothsaid such a return near perfectly. I’d brushed away that line, vehemently then.

I have understood, it’s worth dirt to stick to one’s principles. Why was I a good man? Why did I stay true to her? What was the frigging use? Though, I’m not a person who stubbornly follows every route for a reason. Shove those ideals!

Everything keeps ringing in my heart. Everyplace we sat together, everything we thought together, everytime we got intimate. Life wouldn’t be the same again. Her reason that I’ll survive: I stayed alive before meeting her. There’s a schism of difference between living and surviving.

Even after I know a thousand times over that I shouldn’t dealing with this that way! That I should fucking forget what’s happened: as friends have told me! Die, memories, die!

So, I try to tire myself to sleep today. So, I don’t wake up inbetween and not go to sleep again. So, I fill my day with doing stuff after stuff for the sake of it. I occupy myself with things to do, all day long. I’m pathetic. Yet, I don’t want to lose this way.

Bored you? Yes I did. I get bored under the blanket too. And then, I switch on a random laptop.

Here under my blanket I lie...
I think I'll just stay here for awhile
In this safe place, where I can smile.

Memories

I'm in love with a memory that won't slip out of my fingers
Its hard to let something go after so long
Every piece to the story starts out great
But ends with pure chaos

I'm in love with a memory, that won't love me back
Its hard to live life with this regret
But its something that will follow you every second

I'm in love with a memory, thats stopping me from running away
Its happened more than once to everyone
It makes no sense at all
But when you realize life makes no sense
You will get that every memory makes no sense

The death of Love

My story is a tragedy
Be prepared to cry
They say time heals all
But that is a lie

I searched my whole life
And I finally found
The one meant for me
Love and joy did abound

How quickly that changed
One ill-fated day
Death claimed my love
Death stole her away

Maddened by grief
Consumed by my sorrow
She was my future
Now I have no tomorrow

I stare at her picture
I long for her touch
I can still smell her
I miss her so much

I pick up my gun
And contemplate death
What use in living
When I feel so bereft

But life is a gift
And I haven't the right
So I put down my gun
And weep through each night

I mourn for her daily
There is no relief
My soul is tormented
My heart filled by grief

My life without meaning
No feelings but pain
Death claimed my lady
I can't love again

My bedmate is rage
My friend, misery
I live for my death
Cause she's waiting for me

Letting Go...

As hard as this may be
I know what I must do

This feeling is killing me
Knowing that I have to let go of you

I've held on for too long
The rope is growing thin

Something so right went wrong
The light is growing dim

There is only so much that one person can take
I have a breaking point too

This sensation is so hard to shake
It hurts so much to love you

If I don't leave now
I'll be forever trapped in your web

And I don't know how
But I won't be able to get you out of my head

It's never easy
Having to say goodbye

But you have to let go of me
Allow me to spread my wings and fly

Before I go
Let me say one last thing

Just so you know
You will always be my everything

I will remember

I am, because I travel. I love to see new places and explore worlds I’ve only heard of before. I firmly opine that life’s gifted to you only once, and before you part with it, make sure that you have seen everything that it’s got to offer. In roughly, twenty two years of existence, I have been fortunate enough to travel the length and breadth of my country, to places near and far, and in a way, understand what it truly means to be Indian. From the snowy reaches of Ladakh to the spectacular sand dunes of Jaisalmer, I have been amazed at the sheer beauty of a landscape so varied; yet so well stitched together by its cultures, traditions and people.

There are some places you like, some that you don’t; yet others which leave a lasting impression on you long after you visit them. Places, you would always want to visit time and again, just to relive the priceless relationship that you share with them. These are not always well known or famous but then, they are special in every sense of the word. Here’s a compilation of three ‘special’ places I have discovered over my wanderings.

1. Pangong, Ladakh

Approximately two hundred kilometers from Srinagar is the town of Leh, an unlikely settlement in the middle of nowhere. You might remember it from the Bollywood blockbuster ‘Dil Se’ (1996) which was shot extensively here. Rocky brown mountains covered with snow and freezing temperatures make this land one of the most beautiful, yet punishing locales on the planet. It boasts of the world’s highest battlefield, Siachen, where for the past twenty years, two different sides have lost countless brave hearts, not because of the needless war, but due to the harsh and unforgiving environment that still continues to take its toll. Infamous this land might be, it holds some of Kashmir’s most prized treasures. Among them are its world famous monasteries, the world’s highest passes – the Khardung La and Chang La and of course, the world’s most beautiful lake, the Pangong.

A five hour drive from Leh through some of the world’s most desolate territories would bring you to Pangong. As an afterthought ‘drive’ would be an understatement for a no holds barred roller coaster ride through roads that deserve every bit, their place in the annual Raid de Himalaya. There were moments of pure terror during the journey when even our trusty off roader started freewheeling dangerously over a frozen cliff. It was hours later that the military trooped in with their snow moving equipment, that we finally heaved a sigh of relief.

Pangong, like the rest of Ladakh has had its share of glory in contemporary Bollywood. ‘Swades’ (2004) had some breathtaking shots of the lake, as Shah Rukh Khan sailed across it in a yacht. If that’s a bit too far back in time, the last few shots of ‘Three Idiots’ (2009) were filmed at the lake; (Yup, the part which has ‘Phunsuk Wangdu’ (Aamir Khan) reuniting with his buddies after five long years). Well Aamir and SRK had already been there; so I guess that left just me out.

Pangong’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. It’s the most insanely beautiful sight that I ever laid my eyes upon; a simmering blue expanse of freshwater, hidden behind the mighty Shivaliks. On the yonder side is China, where two thirds of the lake is situated. Far removed from human habitation, Pangong is an ode to the enigma of nature. The only sign of life at the lake is a makeshift tea-stall, manned by a Ladakhi couple which serves deliciously hot tea made of yak milk. Feel like taking a dip at the lake? Forget it. The water’s freezing cold and sure to give you goose bumps in all the wrong places! The wind is no different from the water; brrrr… Jackets are compulsory couture, so are multiple layers of warm inners… Vegetation is sparse here, the hills surrounding the lake are bare rock camouflaged by snow, which lends this place an eerie; yet distinctive appeal. Secluded, seductive and intoxicating, Pangong tops this list.

2. Chandni Chowk, Old Delhi

Delhi holds a special place in my heart. It’s where I find myself every autumn, navigating through its busy bylanes in three wheeled rickshaws. Elders tell me how the city has changed over the decades, from being a laid back third-world capital to a bustling new age metropolis that shows the way forward to a country in transition. Low waists have replaced the sarees, swanking new metro trains have replaced the yellow and green CNG buses while ten lane expressways and snaking flyovers crisscross the city like a concrete maze. The rapid pace of development is evident everywhere, even in Delhi’s suburbs (termed as the National Capital Region). Gurgaon and Greater Noida have come to be known as the ‘desi Manhattans’, thanks to the innumerable malls and high rises that have sprung up here. Yet hidden amidst all the modernity, with most of its charm still intact is Old Delhi. Its not a hard place to miss. Take the first right from the Red Fort, and voila, you reach Chandni Chowk!

Chandni Chowk is where Old Delhi resides. It was once filled with mansions of nobles and members of the royal court, along with elegant mosques and gardens. Today, despite having become extremely crowded and dilapidated, it still serves as the symbolic heart of metropolitan Delhi. It goes on for miles and miles on either side of ancient alleyways that date back to a few centuries. This was Delhi's former imperial avenue, where the Moghul emperor Shah Jahan rode at the head of his lavish cavalcade. That scene is hard to picture today, as bullock carts, bicycles, taxis, freight carts, cows, auto-rickshaws, horse-drawn tongas, and pedestrians create a constant, breathtaking bazaar. As in the days of the Moghuls, commerce is everywhere. Astrologers set up their charts on the pavement; shoemakers squat and repair sandals; sidewalk photographers with old box cameras take pictures for a small fee; medicine booths conceal doctors attending to patients; and oversize teeth grin from the windows of dentists' offices. Peer through a portico and you might see men getting shaved, silver being hammered into paper-thin edible sheets, or any other imaginable form of commerce, while outside a goat blithely chews vegetables from a merchant's cart. Not to be missed is the ‘parathon ki gali’which roughly translates into ‘paratha lane’. Here, you can feast on any conceivable kind of paratha; aloo, gobi and for the not so faint hearted – mirchi! There’s always so much to experience at Chandni Chowk, which makes each visit so truly memorable. Watch Gowarikar’s ‘Delhi 6’ for an incredibly realistic portrayal of old Delhi; if you can take your eyes off Sonam, that is.

3. Mahendragiri, Tamil Nadu

If I can fill my lungs with fresh air

If I can fill my sight with greenery

If I can fill my ears with bird calls

I consider myself alive!

If Don Quixote was Indian, he would most definitely be Tamilian, hailing from this quaint little village near Nagercoil. India’s windiest place, Mahendragiri is home to droves of windmills that whirl away merrily all year round. A joint venture between Suzlon and the state of Tamil Nadu, this is Asia’s largest wind farm generating approximately 50 MW of green energy each year. Its location in the foothills of the western ghats, between two parallel ranges, is reason enough for the wind to get turned on this frequently. Also present, is a wildlife reserve, which is as exclusive as it gets. Located inside the Indian Space Research Organisation’s Mahendragiri campus, entry is restricted to those without passes. The reserve is a bird watcher’s paradise, home to countless species of the winged kind.

Mahendragiri is best explored on foot in the wee hours of dawn. Set out early enough, and be greeted by the sight of peacocks dancing to welcome a new day. Leading the four legged brigade are the blackbucks, which look menacing, but deep down, they’re really good hearted creatures. The month of March sees Mahendragiri in full bloom as the valley transforms into a kaleidoscope of colours, with flowers of every hue lighting up the valley floor.

Do remember to stop over at these places if you happen to pass by them, someday. They’ll make your journey, well worth it.

The Three Mistakes of My Life

I am screwed. S-C-R-E-W-E-D would be a more accurate representation, maybe. In the past four years, I’ve seen my life blowing up in front of me like a fourth-of-July firecracker, while I stood helpless watching it go kaboom before my eyes. Why is this happening to me, God? What have I done to deserve this? Why single me out for (as C.R. would have put it) “balatkar” when all I asked for was a “chamatkar”? This, ladies and gentlemen, is my story, in my words.

I might sound very chetan bhagatish as I put it down; hence bear with me. I’m neither an IIT Delhi undergrad, nor am I packing up for a one way trip to Ahmedabad in the near future. I’m jobless (not that I wanted any in the first place), officially single, and yes, most importantly, very well endowed with academic investments in my fucked up university. I regret, those were mistakes… the three mistakes of my life.

Mistake 1

The air was abuzz with change. It was a new century, a new government and new hopes. Loyola School had a new ISC batch to look forward to. Fifty black and white little future additions to the multitude of doctors and engineers who roughly constitute 99 percent of India’s reproducible population. Did I say fifty? Nah. There were two of us who were different. The human reproductive system wasn’t our cup of tea, nor were the COOHs and CHOOs of organic chemistry. Aah… we were entrepreneurs. So what if we couldn’t pronounce the word properly, half of our classmates never knew what the goddamn thing meant anyways! The stock market used to be our fodder for the physics period, while chemistry saw us doodling pie charts to cater to our incredibly waterproof and wildly fantastic business plans. Warren Buffet and Carlos Slim were THE people to beat. All we wanted was a villa by the sea, a seven star yacht and a bathroom large enough for an occasional baseball tournament.

All said and done, we were not bad students. We wrote our tests and rarely if ever, flunked, and if we ever did, we took it in stride. I was the average Joe, never really bothering to put in all the extra effort to challenge the revered ones at the top, while always maintaining a respectable altitude from ground zero. In contrast, he was Mr Inconsistent. His graph was a drawn-to-scale representation of the Swiss Alps. Sometimes soaring to reach unheard of heights, before charting an undignified free fall to the depths of oblivion.

Enter, the Kerala University with its engineering entrance. One thing that remained constant was our dedication, rather, the lack of it. Engineering was a one night stand, entrepreneurship was the ultimate goal. Not a surprise then, when we barely managed to fall within the 3K barrier. We parted ways, our quest for technical excellence leading us in different directions. Multiple rounds of counseling and several cups of coffee later, MBCET and electronics it was for me. Mistake number one.

Four years on and I realize that I’ve come nowhere. My ambitions, my goals were different. I’ve never really done justice to either, my dream of becoming an entrepreneur, or my avatar as an electronics engineer. Listen to your heart, take your own road. It’s easy to become a glory hunter, its tough to walk it alone.

Mistake 2

Love happens; like it did when you came into my life. If looks could kill, you would have been booked for murder, sweetheart. My heart skipped a beat each time you looked at me; and stopped altogether the day you turned and smiled. I wake filled with thoughts of you which have left my senses in turmoil. The world, my dear, marks its history simply by AD and BC. I mark it by the first time I saw you. All these years, I wanted to tell you what you really meant to me. I never could. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all. Countless times have I tried to talk to you, faltering each time as I got closer to you.

Mistake number two. I regret not that I loved; I regret my helplessness, my inability to express my love for you. Is it too late now? It never is; for there’s always hope, remember? Until then, love, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire.

Mistake 3

I lived my life in college like a playboy on steroids. Beach parties, Monday matinees, intra-lecture siestas; I’ve done them all. What drove me was a wacko belief that I was too smart for engineering. The series exams were an annoying reality one had to live with. My preparations for these usually started in earnest the previous night, before ending up in tatters on the day of reckoning, which was marked by two hours of uncomfortable butt wiggling in some drawing hall. I had turned into a pack of cards, all shuffled up, with the jokers running riot.
Mistake number three. I was stupid. Why did I expect things to work out just fine at the end? They never would, especially when I did not put in the dedication and effort that was required of me all these years. Pay heed if you do not want to end up where I am, when you finish up. Make sure you give your best to whatever you do, and do it with utmost sincerity and conviction.

I might be screwed, but give up, I wont. My mistakes have shown me the way forward, and I still have a long way to go. You game, Carlos?

An F1 fan’s open letter to the sports ministry

Indian motorsports has never had it this good. Formula One is now staple weekend entertainment in homes across the country, with millions of Indian fans tuning in to watch the action live on their television sets, come raceday. Adding to the patriotic fervor and giving them reason to cheer is an Indian team and an upcoming Indian Grand Prix slated for 2011. Inspired performances by India’s top racing drivers have been instrumental in raising the domestic profile of the sport. Promising young talent is now making its presence felt at international racing championships, as more youngsters turn towards the sport as a serious career prospect.

Indifferent attitude

Despite its steady increase in popularity, the government’s attitude towards motorsport has been rather indifferent. The very fact that it refuses to accept racing as a sport, speaks volumes about the biased treatment meted out to our racing drivers. While lesser known sportsmen have been presented the Arjuna award for excellence in sports, internationally reputed Indian racing drivers like Narain Karthikeyan and Karun Chandok have missed the bus, since theirs is neither an Olympic sport, nor is it cricket. The government needs to have a much needed relook at its definition of a “sport” if it fails to recognize the only Indian to have driven in Formula One, win races in A1GP, Formula Three and to have participated in the popular Le Mans series.
It was with much fanfare that the sports minister announced plans for an F1 Grand Prix in 2007, prompting followers of the sport to finally believe that the government’s perception about racing was on the mend. Sadly, its biased attitude towards anything related with the sport resurfaced yet again in 2009 when it denied the promoters of the event, the approval to remit $36.6 million to the Formula One Administration. When asked for reasons, the Sports Ministry refused to oblige, bluntly stating that neither does it consider Formula One a sport nor does it believe the race would do any good to Indian sports as such.

Sports like hockey and football, despite receiving huge financial and infrastructural grants by the government are yet to prove themselves in the international arena. Indian racers, on the other hand have done their country proud by winning races around the world, with little support from the government. Racing is no easy task; add to that the constant search for sponsorship and the driver has an extremely tough job on his hands. I mean no disrespect to other sports which are great in their own right. I only question the logic of according special status to a sport, just because it features at the Olympics. Formula One is regarded as a major championship worldwide, with most countries vying for the honour of getting a spot on the F1 calendar. An F1 race automatically raises the host nation’s prestige and translates into millions of dollars of revenue in tourism and ticket sales. That apart, it also helps in nurturing new talent, with a world class circuit to fall back upon.

International Perspective

Countries around the world have shed their inhibitions on motorsports and have accepted their racers into the sporting fraternity with open arms. Lewis Hamilton managed to break all shackles of race and poverty to emerge as 2008 Formula One world champion. The reason for his triumph? A supportive government which never hesitated to recognize and promote genuine sporting talent, no matter what discipline. His stellar championship winning performance during the 2008 F1 season was promptly rewarded by bestowing upon him the coveted “PRIDE OF BRITAIN - Most Inspiring Public Figure Award”. Seven time world champion, Michael Schumacher was twice conferred upon with the prestigious “Laureus World Sports Award for sportsman of the year” in 2002 and 2004 by a selection panel of the world's leading sports editors, writers, broadcasters from over 80 countries and the members of the Laureus World Sports Academy.
As we strive to become a superpower of the 21st century, it is only appropriate for us to shed our misconceptions and embrace our heroes. A motorsport enthusiast and diehard F1 fan, I sincerely hope for the best.

Viewf@ctory - The next wave of newspapers

Introduction

The newspaper industry today faces enormous challenges, with the internet, dull content and needless advertising leading to declining sales figures and loss in revenue. A complete overhaul is the need of the hour which will need to focus on

1. Minimizing costs
2. Improving content
3. Increasing reader interactivity
4. Customization
5. Effective ad-space utilization
6. Easier subscription methods
7. Provision for recycling and most importantly,
8. Efficient and cost effective distribution

After putting in some thought, we came up with a radical new idea that would shift newspaper technology to the next level. We pondered over the drawbacks of a modern day newspaper and tried coming up with effective and practical alternatives to the methods being currently employed.
Our research led us to one significant conclusion. Much of the resources of the print media are spent on journalism and staff salaries. This leads to a lack of resources for innovation and improvisation in other key areas like printing and distribution which play a key role in newspaper logistics.


Company Summary

The viewspaper, a term we came up with is a newspaper which lays emphasis on the views and opinions of individuals and organizations around the world. The news market, we feel has reached the point of saturation with 24*7 televison news channels breaking the news as soon as it happens. People today want to know how the world views the events that make news daily. People want a platform to interact, discuss and express their opinions and make sure they get heard. Say, a person in Beijing would want to hear what a person in Mumbai had to say on the Olympics opening ceremony. The viewf@ctory aims to be the world’s first free and fully customizable viewspaper and intends to bring about the much needed revolution in the newspaper industry. The objective of the viewf@ctory is to encourage the world to freely express their views and ensure that they are heard across borders, far beyond the scope of the internet.








The figure below tries to explain how the viewf@ctory works:




1. Subscription
• The reader subscribes to the service using a cell phone.
• The subscription request is texted in a prescribed format, mentioning the reader’s location.
• The reader is assigned a 16 digit computer generated identification number which describes his exact location.
• The code is stored in a central database.

2. Online Content Generation
A news Wikipedia. This will be a revolutionary change in the way the world writes news.
• The viewf@ctory website will have provisions for creating, editing and uploading articles in a real time.
• Any registered user can create/edit/upload articles.
• A dedicated news database called “the reservoir” is created by the millions of users on the site everyday.
• The concept would unite journalists, photo journalists, bloggers and enthusiasts from around the world and encourage authentic news generation.
• The concept removes the concept of paid for journalism, greatly decreasing the staff and journalism expense.

4. Customization
This is where our viewspaper scores over traditional newspapers. Each newspaper is customizable. Here the reader gets to decide what he wants to read. Suppose Mr. A is interested in business and formula one, and Mr. B in politics and soccer, they could set their preferences such that their interests get a higher priority over other content. Your neighbour’s copy could be completely different from yours!
• Customization is done through cell phone
• Once the reader is registered, he texts his 16 digit identification number followed by the content choice required.
• The database stores the required user content type.
• Customized advertising would now be possible where advertisers would be able to advertise only in those copies that reach their target market!
Note that Customizable Viewspapers will be paid for, while the free copies are default ones.

5. Variable Digital Printing
• The copies are printed in a variable digital offset.
• The required material is sourced from “the reservoir” depending on the reader’s customization.
• The front page includes the reader identification code.

6. Distribution
It is absolutely necessary to have the right logistics to achieve the distribution. Distribution in this case is much tougher, as each home receives a different copy.
• Each delivery location is pinpointed on a GPS compatible digital map of the area using the identification numbers.
• The routes are charted.
• Delivery is done using vans fitted with GPS navigation consoles.
• Delivery teams are stationed at different locations.
• The correct papers, in this way are delivered to the right homes.

7. Recycling
The viewf@ctory will use recycled paper for its viewspapers. Each copy distributed will be collected the next day, and recycled.


Market Analysis
We aim to target the US and UK markets for their sheer size and the Indian market for its amazing growth potential.
Newspaper readership in India went up from 59 million in 2001 to 79 million in 2005, making it the fastest growing newspaper market. The largest daily, The Times of India has a circulation of 4 million. The viewf@ctory is expected to become an online craze, with bloggers and regular readers flocking to its website, a net circulation of 500,000 can be expected in its first two years.
In the US and the UK, the viewf@ctory would have immense scope as an e-paper. Close to 39 million users flock to the Guardian’s website every month. A modest target of 5 million regular users could be achieved in the first two years.

Intellectual Idea Status
Currently the viewf@ctory is just an idea. We have not applied for patents yet.


Competitive Differentiation
As of now, there exists no free customizable printed newspaper, though free newspapers do exist, and customizable ones are available on the internet. Another point to be noted is that there exists no printed newspaper which can be edited by its readers online.


Financial Highlights

Startup Capital

Fixed Costs = Rs 35, 00,000 = $70,000
Variable costs = Rs 25, 00,000 = $50,000

Total Cost = Rs 60, 00,000 = $120,000

Expected time to break even = 18 months.

Investment sought = 75% of initial cost = $90,000


The Future
• For a fully customizable newspaper, the future holds many possibilities
• The newspaper could find use as a social network, with the reader’s e-mail, personal messages finding their way to a special personal page for the reader!
• It could be used as the next big retail idea, with sms shopping and home delivery finally turning into a reality.


The viewf@ctory objective is to turn the internet, long considered as a foe of the newspaper industry into a trusted ally and help individuals to broadcast their views and opinions far beyond the scope of the internet.

supplies for siachen

Army convoy at khardung la